Rachael Ray Drinking Game

originally by Greg S. with help from his friends Jamie, Chris, and Billy (*)

This game is the original, published on 8/10/05 - accept no imitations!
Last updated: 11/19/06

Rachael Ray has such an abrasive personality, any of her many shows on the Food Network can make a great drinking game. Here are some rules to use when you're up for getting sloshed in 30 Minutes or less.

Note: 1 "sip" generally means a reasonable-sized sip of whatever beverage you have in hand, taking into account its alcohol content.
Sayings:
1 sip"EVOO"
1 sip"Guys"
1 sip"Sammie"
1 sip"Healthful"
1 sip"Goin' on" new!
1 sip"Hang out" new!
2 sips"Stoup"
2 sips"GB"
2 sips"Spoonula"
3 sips"Fry-o-lator"
+1 sipany of the above followed by an explanation of what it stands for, thus making the abbreviation useless
+1 sipany of the above nouns used as a verb (e.g. "I'm just gonna GB this")
1 sip"Yummo"
2 sipsany exotic variant of Yummo, like "Yummilicious" or "Yummerific"
1 sip"Delish!"
1 sip"Awesome"
1 sip"Beautiful!"
2 sip"Chop and drop" new!
2 sips"Shimmy shake"
2 sips"Worcester-sheer-shire sauce" new!
1 sip"I gotta take a quick break" new!
1 sip"It smells good in here already!" new!
1 sip"How _____ is that?"
1 sip"I'm all about _____"
1 sips"Just run your knife through it" new!
1 sips"Room to groove" new!
1 sips"You can seriously entertain with this!"
2 sips... if she's talking about hamburgers.
2 sips"Some of that action"
2 sips"Back in the day"
2 sips"Daddy"
1 sips"Give it feet"
whole drinkcreates an all-new and completely unnecessary abbreviation
 
Stories: new!
2 sipsThe one about how she has 5 jars of poultry seasoning new!
2 sipsThe one about how she eats so much garlic she "smells like a salami" new!
2 sipsThe one about how she ate panzanella every day in Italy new!
2 sipsAny story about Boo new!
 
Presentation:
1 siprepeats herself
2 sipstalks for so long without taking a breath that she nearly runs out of air
2 sipsmakes an awkward, spastic gesture with her arm
2 sipsvoice cracks
2 sipsforces a laugh at something not funny
2 sipstells a lame anecdote about her family
2 sipsmispronounces "foreign" words such as "paprika" or "tapas"
2 sipssays something that is flat-out wrong
3 sipsis visibly flustered
 
Cooking:
2 sipscomes back from refrigerator carrying too many ingredients
3 sipsdrops something on her way back
4 sipsdrops something, laughs, and says something like "potato overboard!"
whole drinkthe thing she drops is a knife!
1 sipfails to provide a measurement and tells you to "eyeball it"
2 sipsprovides an obviously wrong measurement, e.g. "about a tablespoon" while she dumps in a half-cup of something
2 sipssuggests a crappy substitution (e.g. parsley for cilantro) new!
2 sipspraises "salad in a sack" new!
2 sipsuses a "secret ingredient"
3 sipsthe "secret ingredient" is nutmeg
1 sipmentions "the thing that makes you go Hmmm"
3 sips"the thing that makes you go Hmmm" is nutmeg
2 sipspraises the virtues of Worcestershire sauce new!
+1 sipif she says it contains "secret ingredients", despite the fact that all ingredients are clearly listed on the label new!
2 sipscreates a "healthful" meal that clearly contains over 50g of fat
2 sipsdoes way more work than is humanly possible during a commercial break
3 sipsmakes a "gourmet" dish out of cheap ingredients (e.g. Tiramisu with nilla wafers and whipped cream)
2 sipsexpresses how good something tastes while she's still lifting the fork to her mouth
2 sipstakes such a big mouthful of something it takes several seconds before she can talk again
3 sipsruins something and tries to play it off as no big deal
3 sipsmakes a dish with a name more than 10 words long new!
 
Travelling:
2 sipsleaves a crappy tip
2 sipsshoves her nose in something to smell it
2 sipsclaims a dessert by itself is somehow a legitimate lunch or dinner
2 sipsgets something for free (e.g., her boyfriend buys her a sundae) new!
3 sipswears anything midriff-revealing
whole drinkgets up on stage with a band new!

(*) Thanks also to Ashley M., Brent R., Charles L., Dang G., Dor H., Erica M., Glenn W., Howard W., Jennifer E., Joan, Kimberly A., Leila S., Mary M., and Melanie B. for their contributions.

Feedback to slobak AT slobak DOT com